Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Revenge Tales



From the vault, plus some extra . . .

The following revenge tale is from a past Bytes but revenge is sometimes so sweet that I have added three more that are not re-posts: 


ACTIONS can speak louder than words. 

A man was in a queue at a Burger King fast food restaurant in the US, when a mother and child lined up behind him. 

“I hadn’t had the greatest of days and I had a headache coming on. It was a very long line and I was at the end of it, waiting patiently, when behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child. This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a Gameboy whenever something didn’t go right in the game,” the man posted on reddit. 

The mother allegedly did not pay the boy any attention as his tantrum got worse, yelling out: “I want a fucking pie”. 

“After about 5 minutes of the line with these people behind me, I had gone from a headache to a full on migraine, but nothing was going to stop me from getting those burgers. I calmly turn and ask her nicely if she can please calm or quiet her child down. Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can’t tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business,” the man continued. 

With his head pounding the man decided he could tell the woman something about raising her child and teach them a lesson. 

“I then decide to ruin their day. I order every pie they have left in addition to my burgers,” the man continued. 

“Turned out to be 23 pies in total, I take my order and walk towards the exit. 

Moments later I hear the woman yelling "What do you mean you don’t have any pies left, who bought them all?” 

The man concludes: “I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare. I stand there and pull out a pie and slowly start eating as I stare back at her. She starts running towards me but can’t get to me because of other line-ups in the food court. I turn and slowly walk away.” 



December 11, 2012 

Denver, Colorado electronics store 

(I’m a manager. I am ringing up a woman I have sold things to before. We are making small talk as I ring her up. Note: I’m a lesbian.) 

Customer: “I can’t believe the president came out in support for gay marriage!” 

Me: “I know; kind of unbelievable!” 

Customer: “That f** lover is going to burn in Hell for that!” 

Me: *biting my tongue* “Okay.” 

(I finish ringing her up and hand the customer her bags.) 

Customer: “They should round up all the gays and put them down.” 

Me: “That would be bad for me, seeing as I am a lesbian.” 

(The woman turns pale and walks out without saying a word. A few hours later, I get a call from the manager of another one of our stores. On the line, I can hear the same customer I previously sold items to ranting.) 

Manager: *also a woman* “So, this woman is here wanting to exchange a bunch of stuff from your store. When I asked her what was wrong with the items, she said you tainted them; I have no idea what she is talking about. Could you maybe clear this up for me?” 

Me: “Well, I bet it is because she found out I am gay.” 

Manager: “I see.” *starts talking in sultry voice* “Well, I’ll see you tonight for our date. You should put on that that black lace bra and panty set I got you for your birthday! I love you!” *hangs up* 

(I am very confused, seeing as I have never dated that manager, nor did she ever get me underwear, and as far as I know, she is not gay. Fast forward a few days later to the manager weekly conference call: apparently, the customer left the other store after thinking the other manager was also gay. That manager then called every other store in the area and told everyone about the customer. Over the next few days, the customer went to every store in a 20 mile radius trying to exchange the ‘tainted goods.’ Everyone she talked to pretended to be gay when working with her and she left every time. To my knowledge, she never got her exchange.) 


I was at the post office one day when an elderly lady in front of me asked for a single stamp. 

Obviously considering this a waste of her time, the woman behind the counter makes a snorting noise, rips off a stamp and flicks it across the counter where it lands on the floor. She doesn’t apologise or offer the lady another stamp. The old lady considers for a second, picks up the stamp and leaves her 50 cent piece on the floor in its place. She says a cheery “Thank you!” and walks out, and the woman behind the counter has to walk around to pick up the money. 


Coffee shop. 

People next to me are loud and rude. They just found the perfect name for their new business. 

I just bought the domain name.


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