Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Poetry Spot

One from the vault . . .

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Disclaimer:
The sentiments expressed below do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of myself or of Bytes.  
Okay, Kate?
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The GPS Poem
   - Jim Grenfell

I have a little GPS
I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My GPS is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
“It’s sixty k’s an hour”, it says
“You’re doing sixty five”


[Alternative verse from moi:

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"Stay under sixty, there's always police
On Namatjira Drive."]

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it’s never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear..

I’m sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counseling
Each journey’s pretty fraught
So why don’t I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I’m properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And – lets me have a shed.

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off.

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Diabolical
    - Zorian Alexis

After hours of extensive research
And following many a clue,
I've finally discovered the source
Of the new pandemic flu.

It was concocted by our pets,
Forcing us to stay at home.
Always at their beck and call,
Never free to roam.

No room in the house is safe,
For they follow you about.
They are a constant shadow.
They think you can't do without.

They look at you with greedy eyes,
Imploring you for a treat,
And though you try, you can't avoid it,
So just admit defeat.

Alas, until the cure is found,
The master has become slave.
Our pets are now teaching us
How we should behave.

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