Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Brett's Monthly, some humour and a life lesson . . .



Here we are at the halfway mark of the year and what a half year it has been so far.  No need to recap, we all know too well what the previous 6 months have been like.

So welcome to the new financial year, readers, to getting colder in Oz and to getting warmer in the US.

To get you in the mood for the next 6 months, here are some humour items, a story with some morals, followed by Brett's Monthly, his list  of bizarre and unique holidays for July.  Thanks Brett.

Enjoy the items, if not necessarily the rest of the year. . . 


Some humour . . .

You will see from Brett's Monthly below that today, amongst other designations, is International Joke Day.  That means people around the world telling some jokes to their friends, relatives etc.

Here are a couple that are also international in subject. And yes, I am aware that the humour relies on cultural and ethnic stereotyping.

-----oOo-----

HEAVEN is where: 
The police are British.
The chefs are Italian.
The mechanics are German.
The lovers are French,
and it's all organised by the Swiss.

HELL is where: 
The police are German.
The chefs are British.
The mechanics are French.
The lovers are Swiss,
and it's all organised by the Italians!!

-----oOo-----



Life lesson . . . 



A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. 

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! 

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. 

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him. 

Morals:

1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 

3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


Brett's Monthly:

(Click on the individual days to expand)

Month:
  • Dog Days of Summer - July 3 - August 11
  • National Blueberry Month
  • National Anti-Boredom Month
  • Unlucky Month for weddings
  • National Cell Phone Courtesy Month
  • National Hot Dog Month
  • National Ice Cream Month
  • National Picnic Month
Week Event:
July 2020 Daily Holidays, Special and Wacky Days:
July 1
July 2
July 3
July 4
International Cherry Pit Spitting Day - first Saturday of month
Sidewalk Egg Frying Day- Hmmmm, I wonder why!?!
July 5
Build A Scarecrow Day - first Sunday in month
Work-a-holics Day - even though everyone is on holiday
July 6
July 7
July 8
July 9
July 10
July 11
July 12
July 13
July 14
July 15
Cow Appreciation Day- Go out and give a cow a hug
National Hot Dog Day - third Wednesday in July
July 16
July 17
July 18
National Caviar Day- something's fishy here
July 19
National Ice Cream Day  - third Sunday of the month
July 20
July 21
July 22
July 23
July 24
July 25
National Day of the Cowboy - fourth Saturday in July
July 26
Parent's Day  - fourth Sunday in July
  July 27
July 28
 July 29
July 30
July 31
Eid-Ul-Adha - date varies

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